…So Votes the Nation?

“EEEEEYYAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!” – former Vermont Governor Howard Dean, MD

The Democrats are here. The cameras are here. The talking heads are here. The pollsters are even here. They’ve all set up shop and have been touring all over the state in a pitch to win the nation’s first elected contest in the Presidential Election Contest. (Yes, technically the Iowa Caucuses were first, but that’s not an election. It’s a Tupperware party.) I may not really like their message, but I love the money they’re going to drop into my state’s economy. As glad as I am to have them here in New Hampshire, I’ll be just as glad to see them move on to other primary states.
Of the seven hopefuls who are still standing, really only four of them are competing for votes: Dean, Clark, Kerry, and Edwards. Three people are all but done and that’s a shame, but I think it’s important that we give every candidate a chance. To that end, I am endorsing a Democrat in the New Hampshire Primary.
That Democrat is the Dennis Kucinich.
Yes, it’s true. Kucinich.
Say it once with me, you’ll feel good: Koo-SIN-itch.
There. Wasn’t that great?
Come on…I love this guy! No one else in this race has had the grapes to go on a date while stumping for votes, and what other Democrat would be bold or brave enough to bring a pie chart to an NPR debate, I ask you? He was the youngest mayor in the history of Cleveland, Ohio and has nothing to do with that stench that used to come off the Cuyahoga.
As a single guy, he’s less likely to have any Clinton-ian problems, too.
Plus, who can resist a guy with memorable quotes like these:
“We’re asking our countries’ leaders to understand that the world is undivided. We’re asking our countries’ leaders to see the world as an interconnected whole. We’re asking our countries’ leaders to take a holistic view of the world and to allow the globe, the sphere of the Earth herself, to exist free from an assault from space” (remarks in Malibu, Calif., Feb. 23, 2002).
“The energy of the stars becomes us. We become the energy of the stars. Stardust and spirit unite, and we begin: One with the universe. Whole and holy. From one source, endless creative energy, bursting forth, kinetic, elemental. We, the earth, air, water, and fire source of nearly 15 billion years of cosmic spiraling” (remarks to Praxis Peace Institute, June 9, 2002).
“In that moment I had a new understanding that this flag, as spangled with stars as a bolt of heaven itself, connects the United States with eternal principles of unity, of brotherhood, of sisterhood. … One bright star shines for hope. Another star for optimism. Another for well-being. One for freedom. One for abundance. One for creativity. One for togetherness. One for peace. One star to wish upon to create your highest aspirations, to make your dreams come true” (remarks at Redwood Sequoia Conference, Sept. 14, 2002).
Sheer eloquence. Forget that there are forty-one other stars, it’s not important. These are the ideals that will bring America together. The ideals that unite us as a people. The ideals that protect us from an assault from space.
He’s also attractive to the Independent voter. Kucinich brings to the table hints of the visual appearance of Ross Perot, and the “deer caught in the headlights” look of Admiral Stockdale.
OK, I’m demonstrating absurdity with absurdity a bit, but it’s only to illustrate my point.
New Hampshire has a history of looking at what the issues are and what the polling data says and doing the exact opposite of what everyone expects. All the pollsters and all the pundits think they know how it’s going to come down in the polls, but they have no clue. The only people who know are the good, honest, decent, hard-working people of the State of New Hampshire.
…and they certainly aren’t going to show up in droves for the little Martian from Ohio.
They’re going to vote for someone whom they think will best represent the ideals of New Hampshirites…and they’ll make up their mind in the booth just before they pull the lever. The independent spirit in America is alive and well in New Hampshire, and we’re happy to put it on display for the rest of the world.
As of this writing, there are less than two hours before New Hampshire’s first ballots are cast in Crawford Notch at midnight. I think that Dixville Notch will lean toward Clark, and I think that those voting results will look like this:
Wesley Clark 3
John Kerry 2
Howard Dean 1
Remember, only SIX Democrats voted in 2000.
As far as the rest of the state, I think it goes a little differently. I think the percentages are too hard to be accurate on, but I think the order of finish looks like this:
1. John Kerry
2. Howard Dean
3. Wesley Clark
4. Joe Lieberman
5. John Edwards
6. Dennis Kucinich
7. Al Sharpton
Clark is a distant third with Lieberman and Edwards running neck and neck for spots four and five. Sharpton will poll at 1% or less. We’ll see how I do Tuesday night, I guess. Knowing New Hampshire, though, I could be completely wrong.
That’s why this all is so fun.
After that, I can’t wait for these guys to get out of town and to take Brokaw, Rather, and Jennings with them. Don’t get me wrong–I’m thankful for the amount of money that gets dumped into our local economy, but I’ll be happy when life in the Granite State returns to normal.
William Smith
ConservativeBlogger.com